'Mama, look! Lollipops are growing in the garden!' said excited Little Person with Big Imagination. The look of awe on our toddler's face when he saw his favourite treats in bloom and in place of where his dummies had been planted will always be a magical memory :)
There are many ways of getting rid of the dummy such as weaning it off slowly, calling upon the dummy fairy to take it or simply saying goodbye to it. Then I learned of a creative approach to completely ditching the dummy; planting them! Since digging is one of our middle kid's favourite things to do, this approach was fun, imaginative and meaningful.
As a parent, you are best placed to decide on the right time for the dummy to go – it's your decision. Our toddler only used it to soothe himself to sleep. When he was about 2.5 years old, we started to tell him how big he was growing and how he wouldn't need his dummy by the time he turned 3. So, it was a great parenting win to see him spit the dummy sooner, rather than later! Read on for a recount of our experience.
WHAT WE USED:
On the morning of planting the dummy, I explained to our toddler that today we would be saying goodbye to his dummies by planting them in the garden, before he went for his nap. I also told him that when he woke from his nap, something special would have grown in their place ('some dummies grow very fast, you know!'). It's important to note here that this creative technique works well if your kid is still quite young and willing to believe in magic.
Engaging him was a no-brainer! He gleefully dug some holes, filled them with dummies and watered the dirt down with his brother. Sleeping without the dummy was a little trickier but thankfully, with some patience, there were no tears. When he repeatedly called for his dummy, I repeated back that he had planted them and they would be growing into a surprise, by now.
While he was sleeping, I dug out the dummies from the dirt and replaced them with a few lollipops. Another important note here to say that replacing the dummy with a less sugary treat, a small gift or planting seeds and watching them grow into flowers or vegetables is also special. When he woke, he ran to the garden bed and could not wipe the glee off his face when he saw his favourite treat in bloom! I had so much fun playing along with the magic :)
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Whilst he sucked on a lollipop, we connected over how special it was for his much-loved dummies to transform into something he loved, as well. He went to sleep without much lament that night knowing that he had a couple of 'dummy-lollipops' waiting for him, over the next few days. He woke once to ask for his dummy and went back to sleep when I reminded him that they had grown into lollipops.
Luckily, he never asked for his dummy on subsequent nights - or for more lollipops. I'd like to think that the experience really captivated his imagination :) He wouldn't agree with me now that he is 5.5 years old but he still thinks it's a great story! It will be interesting to see how our toddling girl responds to planting her dummy in a few months time!
Have you had to get rid of your kid's dummy? I would love to hear how you did it and what you think of this idea in the comments. Let me know if you try it and please share this idea with your parent friends!
Dinosaurs, digging and tools are a few of my boys' favourite things. So, when they discovered how to create mini ice excavations to free frozen dinosaurs, it was NEXT LEVEL!
This STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Maths) and sensory play has since become the kids' favourite activity not only because it's fun and easy to do but it also helps them to focus on something engaging, quickly. There is nothing quite like hammering away at blocks of ice to unwind and release energy!
In fact, we always keep an ice tray full of frozen creatures - preferably near the ice packs for injuries - in our freezer. What is the method behind the madness? When the kids get a small bump or bruise, they like to excavate ice to distract themselves from the stinging pain of cold-ice-pack-on-owie!
Why? Because experts advise the art of distraction is often effective to help calm kids down, especially when they are hurting or need to let go of tension. Now, the kids' play-dates request this activity when they come over; win-win for everyone :) Learn how we do it, below.
WHAT WE USE:
Invite the kids to place a creature figure in each open space of the ice tray. Then, help them to pour water into each space and put the ice tray in the freezer. When the water has frozen, remove the ice tray from the freezer and extract the ice blocks onto a large surface (preferably on the ground, outside). Then, let the kids excavate away at the ice blocks with their toy tools to free the fossilized bugs or dinosaurs! Another option is to use water sprays to slowly melt the ice blocks. My kids also like to find different things to freeze to keep it interesting, such as tiny trinkets and water beads.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Not only does is this activity super fun, helps to distract and release energy, it also engages the kids in:
To learn more about STEAM activities, refer to Fun Marble Runs! To learn more about letting go of tension, refer to Creatively Connecting to Control Emotions.
Drop any questions, suggestions and experiences in the comments section and if it resonates, please share with your parent friends! As always, I look forward to connecting with you via the Creative Mama community on Facebook.
When kids engage in creative pursuits in life (such as art, craft, writing or dancing) they are better at self-expression and have higher emotional intelligence. This is because they have a safe and welcoming (creative) space to explore and understand their emotions. Read more about how Creativity can Empower your Kids here.
Dr Laura Markham, trained clinical psychologist and founder of Aha Parenting advises we teach our kids that:
When my younger son has trouble expressing his emotions, he sometimes act out by yelling and sometimes even hitting the person nearest to him. This is because, his brain has not developed fully to physically control his wild emotions. He doesn't even know his behaviour is inappropriate in a full-scale meltdown. Child development expert, Daniel J. Siegel suggests that “connection should be our first response in virtually any disciplinary situation.”
WHAT I USE:
It's not easy to drop whatever I am doing and become very present and empathetic to my son's needs but it is my most successful way in making him feel safe enough to express his tears and feel the fears that may be driving his anger. Holding him close, I acknowledge how he is feeling. He knows someone understands, which makes him feel just a bit better, so he's more likely to cooperate. He knows he doesn't have to yell or act out to be heard.
Engaging in creative ways together with my kids is also an integral part of my connection with them. In order to help them cope with their emotions whilst limiting their actions, I connect with them via a visualisation technique I created. When my son is willing to listen, I compassionately invite him to visualise an Airport Control Tower trying to help land planes safely, during stormy weather at the airport. The Airport Control Tower is his brain's Emotional Control Tower and the planes are his hands, feet and mouth.
I help him understand that just as we can't control the stormy weather, we don't usually have a choice about what we are feeling. However, the Airport Control Tower can control the planes flying around it and similarly, our brain's Emotional Control Tower can control how we use our limbs and voice. Our brain can choose to land our limbs safely by our sides and control the volume of our voice, during the storm. In time, the stormy weather will pass and so will our stormy feelings. They always do.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
This holistic visualisation usually engages my son's imagination because he loves aircrafts and begins to focus on what types of planes his limbs could be. This dissipates the desperation in his emotional outburst and helps him to feel in 'control' of his emotions, which he often expresses to me when he is ready. That is, until the next time a new challenge filled with new emotions he is unable to control comes his way!
Before that happens, it's time for a big glass of water to boost my own oxygenation and patience power...knowing that one day he will be able to 'control' his emotions because he has a healthy, expressible emotional life (like my older son) makes it worth the effort and wait!
Read Ice Excavation & The Art of Distraction for another technique your kids can use to let go of tension and release energy. How do you help your kids with their emotions? I would love to hear from you in the comments section!
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