I knew that motherhood and matrescence would change me. I just didn't know how much. I realise now that I had to go through my ground-level-identity-crisis to birth my truth, rise towards my identity-creation, continue to grow and trust that this is all happening for a reason. 'Life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself' - George Bernard Shaw.
Like so many mamas before me and with me, I have learned to mother myself in order to have energy to stay centered and connected with my family. Gabby Bernstein once said she had to learn how to mother herself before becoming a mother. For me, I learned how to mother myself after nine years of mothering my three beautiful kids (my teachers).
Motherhood for me has taught me to let go of the old stories that didn't serve me. To stop being so hard on myself and let go of some high expectations. To break free from the fixed mindset of what I should be doing and where I should be...which then helped me to build sacred boundaries around what I actually need in order for my family to thrive.
Having a creative approach to parenting has helped me to connect with my kids and find meaning in motherhood; with this blog, a book (Arya's Flying Dreams) and a deep desire for wellness (www.mydoterra.com/creativemama). Thank you Amy Taylor Kabbaz for your divine purpose and for honouring mamas like me in your inspiring podcast (Uncovering the Real You with Nagma Dawn) :
"Motherhood comes with a lot of expectations, both spoken and unspoken. Passed down from generation to generation, we inherent so many unconscious beliefs around what it means to be a good mother and woman. Matrescence, if honoured correctly, can change that.
Matrescence is an invitation to examine not only who you used to be, but who you are becoming. It’s a chance to look at your lineage, and decide how you want to create your future.
It’s the time in your life when you get to look at who you were, and who you want to be.
Nagma Dawn is a mama of three who walked into one of my workshops a number of years ago with a tiny baby in her arms, and an open heart. She wanted to know more. She wanted to understand who she was now. She felt the stirrings of something within her – a desire to step back from the corporate career she’d been pursuing – but she wasn’t sure what it was… or if she could do it.
In this episode, Nagma shares her story of finding herself through creativity and courage. It will inspire you to look within at your own stories and expectations, and be ready to explore who might be there underneath all of those expectations."
Who likes to daydream? Who has ever dreamed of flying? And who has ever tried to fly? Well, that is what Arya’s Flying Dreams is all about.
Who likes to read books? Who has ever dreamed of writing a book? And who has ever tried to write a story? Then you have just planted the seeds for your own book that you could be the proud author of! Because in dreams we plant the seeds of our future...
These were some of the discussion points used to engage 200 Grade 2 and 3 students during my Book Talks for Book Week at local primary schools.
We all have a story inside us that we dream about making into a book and sharing with the world. The feedback from the teachers, including my sister, was that students felt inspired with practical tips to write and publish their own children's book.
It was a fun family affair to help support and promote Arya's Flying Dreams with my older son participating in his Grade 3 Book Talk. Then, my middle son dressed up as Arya and my niece dressed up as Arya's Mum in their respective Book Parades.
Did you know that the word ‘inspire’ originates from the Latin word 'inspirare' meaning to ‘breathe into’, as in to breathe life into an idea? Our stories are simply ideas that we bring to life, using our imagination. Here's what I covered in my Book Talk to inspire you to breathe life into your idea - your story:
What I did:
The topics I covered:
I expanded on the above topics and included sneak-peaks of my original sketches that my illustrator, Valerie Bouthyette interpreted beautifully. In particular, I covered brainstorming ideas, creating structure for your story, identifying themes, utilising literary devices, practicing and editing your writing voice and the publishing journey.
Connect and Inspire...
In order to inspire the students to connect with and participate in the discussion, I set a simple challenge to listen for a few tips that would score them a few copies of Arya's Flying Dreams for their school library. I hope these tips encourage you to take small steps towards creating your dream story:
If you know a primary school, library or community that would be inspired by this discussion, I look forward to hearing from you at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please share Arya's Flying Dreams with friends. It is available online at Amazon, Book Depository and Booktopia. Thank you!
Mandala is Sanskrit for ‘circle’. It represents wholeness and balance. The symbol’s purpose is to assist with healing through meditating on a central or guiding focus. Many cultures around the world use them as part of their spiritual practices.
It was an honour to design hand-made mandalas for author, mama of three and creator of Happy Mama, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. The mandalas are part of Amy's Divine Mama Circles, where mamas sit in circle together (physically or virtually, online) and hold space for each other. For more information on Matrescence and the transition to motherhood, please listen to her amazing Happy Mama Movement Podcast.
Colouring mandalas has numerous health benefits for kids and adults, including:
The floral mandala pictured above was inspired by Amy's focus, 'Simplicity, Creativity, Connection' for a program currently underway. It is my hope that mamas connect with their innate creativity and feel inspired as they colour the pattern surrounding the focus. The buta mandala pictured below was inspired by Amy's focus, 'Rest to Rise' for another recent program. The buta is Sanskrit for ‘fire’. I hope mamas in this program feel relaxed and renewed with fiery energy as they colour and contemplate the mandala.
Colouring is one of the kids - and my - favourite activities. My kids enjoyed colouring in these mandalas over the school holidays :)
WHAT WE USE:
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
It was great to see my kids physically relax and get creative over which colours they would use. Be as creative as you like and unleash your imagination. The flowing and swirling patterns in the mandalas pictured here are especially helpful in reflective thinking and encouraged my kids to let go of the day.
To learn more about my mandala designs for your unique project or program, please email me at email@example.com and I would love to hear your feedback in the comments below!
Parent Educator and Author, Elaine Heffner once said, "The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children."
For our first big trip overseas with three young kids in tow, we stayed with family who manage a missionary hospital and orphanage in central India. The orphanage currently houses 60 girls from 6 years of age.
WHAT WE DID:
Before we embarked on this life changing journey, we decided to raise some funds for the orphanage. When my 7 and 4 year old sons brought some artwork home from school (and amazed me with their creativity), I curated a few and designed them into celebratory cards for birthdays, Christmas and the Chinese New Year with Vistaprint, online. We sold the cards at our local community group and celebrations, raising enough to pay the school fees for two of the girls for the coming year.
LET'S CREATE EXPERIENCES!
When the boys presented the cheque to the very excited girls at their annual Christmas function, I felt so proud of them and I could see they felt pretty special to have helped support the orphanage. The boys enjoyed the simple living so much that they didn't want to leave when it was time to say farewell. They were amazed at the incredibly poor conditions but still thriving people of the hospital and orphanage.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Needless to say, this exceptionally enriching experience and many others in India gave the boys the opportunity to learn invaluable life lessons including empathy and tolerance and obtaining the virtues of kindness and humility. It was great to see their emotional intelligence kicking in when I heard the older one tell the younger one that they shouldn't eat the Cornettos that the orphanage gifted them with, in front of the girls, as the girls could not afford to eat them. They chomped down the melting ice-creams soon after we left the orphanage. Now that was some new found self-control for one of their favourite desserts right there!
We're thinking this creative project for our wider community might become an annual Christmas tradition - please email me if you would like to pursue a similar project! I would love to explore more creative ideas for community and encourage 'the art of living' to my kids. Hope to hear your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section.
Author Elizabeth Gilbert once said, 'A creative life is an amplified life. It's a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life and a hell of a lot more interesting life.'
Kids who often practice creative pursuits in life (such as writing, singing, crafting, painting and dancing) are generally more thoughtful, reflective, better in problem solving, challenge the norm and build greater confidence.
Other benefits to raising creative kids include:
Encourage your kids to be creative, to use their imagination, and then praise them when they do. Build their confidence to present their creative point of view, their thoughts, and their feelings. In this way, you are not only empowering them and powering their brain, but you are also helping them to hold onto childhood just a little longer :)
Do you think creativity can help your kids in some life skills? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
'Mama, look! Lollipops are growing in the garden!' said excited Little Person with Big Imagination. The look of awe on our toddler's face when he saw his favourite treats in bloom and in place of where his dummies had been planted will always be a magical memory :)
There are many ways of getting rid of the dummy such as weaning it off slowly, calling upon the dummy fairy to take it or simply saying goodbye to it. Then I learned of a creative approach to completely ditching the dummy; planting them! Since digging is one of our middle kid's favourite things to do, this approach was fun, imaginative and meaningful.
As a parent, you are best placed to decide on the right time for the dummy to go – it's your decision. Our toddler only used it to soothe himself to sleep. When he was about 2.5 years old, we started to tell him how big he was growing and how he wouldn't need his dummy by the time he turned 3. So, it was a great parenting win to see him spit the dummy sooner, rather than later! Read on for a recount of our experience.
WHAT WE USED:
On the morning of planting the dummy, I explained to our toddler that today we would be saying goodbye to his dummies by planting them in the garden, before he went for his nap. I also told him that when he woke from his nap, something special would have grown in their place ('some dummies grow very fast, you know!'). It's important to note here that this creative technique works well if your kid is still quite young and willing to believe in magic.
Engaging him was a no-brainer! He gleefully dug some holes, filled them with dummies and watered the dirt down with his brother. Sleeping without the dummy was a little trickier but thankfully, with some patience, there were no tears. When he repeatedly called for his dummy, I repeated back that he had planted them and they would be growing into a surprise, by now.
While he was sleeping, I dug out the dummies from the dirt and replaced them with a few lollipops. Another important note here to say that replacing the dummy with a less sugary treat, a small gift or planting seeds and watching them grow into flowers or vegetables is also special. When he woke, he ran to the garden bed and could not wipe the glee off his face when he saw his favourite treat in bloom! I had so much fun playing along with the magic :)
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Whilst he sucked on a lollipop, we connected over how special it was for his much-loved dummies to transform into something he loved, as well. He went to sleep without much lament that night knowing that he had a couple of 'dummy-lollipops' waiting for him, over the next few days. He woke once to ask for his dummy and went back to sleep when I reminded him that they had grown into lollipops.
Luckily, he never asked for his dummy on subsequent nights - or for more lollipops. I'd like to think that the experience really captivated his imagination :) He wouldn't agree with me now that he is 5.5 years old but he still thinks it's a great story! It will be interesting to see how our toddling girl responds to planting her dummy in a few months time!
Have you had to get rid of your kid's dummy? I would love to hear how you did it and what you think of this idea in the comments. Let me know if you try it and please share this idea with your parent friends!
'Scientists have recently determined that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain - unless it is done with play, in which case, it takes between 10-20 repetitions' - Dr Karyn Purvis
So, when this play-based activity to combine a beautiful story with playdough, hands-on learning and real-life experiences came along, we swam towards it! This Playdough Rainbow Fish is fun, easy to create and perfect for extending the kids' understanding of friendship.
What we use:
After reading and reflecting on The Rainbow Fish story and it's beautiful illustrations, we get creative with the playdough! The kids flatten a ball of playdough using their hands or a rolling pin and cut out a fish shape with a plastic knife or a cookie cutter. All that's left is to place the googly eye on the fish and adorn it with sequins for scales, before it's time for some fun learning! Ideas include counting all the same coloured scales on the fish, standing the scales up on their side and then flat on the fish, creating a pattern of scales such as row of blue scales and then a row of red scales.
Connect and inspire...
The kids develop language and conversation skills as we discuss the underlying messages of how we can share, learn to give and be friendly in The Rainbow Fish. Taking the kids to experience an aquarium also reinforces their understanding of the many real and beautiful fish in the sea. Apart from using their imagination to create colourful patterns on their rainbow fish, the kids learn fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination and control.
In addition, the kids learn math concepts such as counting and experimenting with size and area. Using creative methods to learn math extends problem-solving skills in exciting ways. To learn more about STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Math), please read Fun Marble Runs!
What are some other creative ideas in response to The Rainbow Fish story? Creative Mama Joanna recently created a colourfully crafted fish book with her son and we shared it on the Creative Mama Community on Facebook!
Artist and Engineer, Leonardo Da Vinci once said, 'Learn how to see. Realise that everything connects to everything else.' He demonstrated this by combining and connecting science and art to make important discoveries.
Why does this matter? STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) focused on science concepts. Kids who learn creative methods with STEAM (including Art within the acronym) make connections between concepts, learn to inquire and problem-solve in new and exciting ways.
So finally, art and creative methods are being acknowledged more than ever as vital for future-ready employees in business and industry. One way we incorporate STEAM into our play is with marbles to encourage our kids to be creative and challenge their engineering skills.
We were inspired to create our own version of Marble Runs and Trampolines from this post on Frugal Fun for Boys and Girls - thank you so much Mama Sarah for your amazing ideas that helped to grow my kids basic understanding of physics concepts!
WHAT WE USE:
Try dropping a marble on a balloon to see it bounce! Then get to work creating marble runs that include your trampolines! Our first track was simple, and we used wooden blocks to support the wooden bridge train tracks. We also used masking tape to attach the paper towel rolls to the blocks.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Not only is this a great collaborative and engineering activity, but a great way to learn physics concepts and observation skills for older kids. My two sons enjoyed observing the following challenges I gave them:
I would love to hear what you think in the comments section!
Go to Amazing Mazes, Painting with Marbles and Sensory Play with Light for some more creative STEAM activities.
Dinosaurs, digging and tools are a few of my boys' favourite things. So, when they discovered how to create mini ice excavations to free frozen dinosaurs, it was NEXT LEVEL!
This STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Maths) and sensory play has since become the kids' favourite activity not only because it's fun and easy to do but it also helps them to focus on something engaging, quickly. There is nothing quite like hammering away at blocks of ice to unwind and release energy!
In fact, we always keep an ice tray full of frozen creatures - preferably near the ice packs for injuries - in our freezer. What is the method behind the madness? When the kids get a small bump or bruise, they like to excavate ice to distract themselves from the stinging pain of cold-ice-pack-on-owie!
Why? Because experts advise the art of distraction is often effective to help calm kids down, especially when they are hurting or need to let go of tension. Now, the kids' play-dates request this activity when they come over; win-win for everyone :) Learn how we do it, below.
WHAT WE USE:
Invite the kids to place a creature figure in each open space of the ice tray. Then, help them to pour water into each space and put the ice tray in the freezer. When the water has frozen, remove the ice tray from the freezer and extract the ice blocks onto a large surface (preferably on the ground, outside). Then, let the kids excavate away at the ice blocks with their toy tools to free the fossilized bugs or dinosaurs! Another option is to use water sprays to slowly melt the ice blocks. My kids also like to find different things to freeze to keep it interesting, such as tiny trinkets and water beads.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Not only does is this activity super fun, helps to distract and release energy, it also engages the kids in:
To learn more about STEAM activities, refer to Fun Marble Runs! To learn more about letting go of tension, refer to Creatively Connecting to Control Emotions.
Drop any questions, suggestions and experiences in the comments section and if it resonates, please share with your parent friends! As always, I look forward to connecting with you via the Creative Mama community on Facebook.
Painting with Marbles is an art activity for your kids that is super simple to set-up and do - again and again! So it can get a little messy...but the end result - a colourful and abstract piece of art - is totally worth it!
It's also a fun indoor play idea that combines art with movement, for kids who like to be active! This activity even encourage kids to apply basic creative skills as part of Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and Maths (STEAM) concepts into their play - what's not to love about it?!
To learn more about STEAM, go to Fun Marble Runs.
WHAT WE USE:
Drop a marble into each section of the muffin tray. Using a spoon, coat the marble with paint and then transfer it to the paper in the shallow dish. Lift the dish and tilt it from side to side so that the paint covered marbles roll around and leave trails of paint, creating interesting and colourful patterns on the paper.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Depending on how much the kids are enjoying the marble painting process, more marbles can be added and can be rolled around the paper to blend colours, creating new colours and designs. Or, you can replace the painted paper with a fresh one and create multiple marble paintings for framing, along side each other. A little messy play is sometimes worth all the effort!
I would love for you to share your experiences in the comments section below and any photos you might have taken of your kids cool creations!
For some more creative STEAM activities, go to Amazing Mazes and Sensory Play with Light.
Once upon a time, boys who engaged in creative play and hobbies that were perceived as feminine - like crafting or cooking - were laughed at, so many boys often stopped doing them! Thankfully, we have moved on from believing that boys are limited in their abilities to create and innovate :)
We know that kids who often practice creative pursuits in life (such as writing, singing, crafting, painting and dancing) are generally more thoughtful, reflective, better in problem solving, challenge the norm and build greater confidence. Read Creativity can empower your kids to learn more.
Studies show that most boys are innately good at building structures but when it comes to other forms of creativity, boys are often not given the opportunity to express their true enthusiasm and potential. They are often dismissed as 'being boys' who do not have the patience to sit still for long periods or follow instructions in order to create.
One of my greatest intentions is to debunk this myth after getting regularly creative with my first born son and delighting in experiencing his creative juices flow. Little boys are naturally active. To help increase their attention span and keep his focus, it is best to start early and encourage experimenting with different creative pursuits.
After getting creative with my second born son, I have the pleasure in proving my prediction. I have curated various creative activities for your inspiration, including the ones below:
Who would have thought having our two beautiful boys would help to affirm my own creativity? I am grateful to do it all over again with my toddling daughter! I would love to hear how you get creative with your kids in the comments section. Thanks for dropping by :)
Here's a Lego maze that will amaze your kids! Mazes are fun and a great creative activity to encourage kids to apply basic Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and Maths (STEAM) concepts into their play. To learn more about STEAM, go to Fun Marble Runs!
Mazes are also great for improving fine motor skills. They can be crafted, for example, out of a large cardboard box lid and straws or built from Lego. The boys raided their Lego box for some of the mazes pictured above.
WHAT WE USE:
Making sure that the path remains about 4 studs wide to comfortably fit a regular size marble, let your kids experiment with how they construct their selected lego pieces on to the lego flat board. Use different length legos shapes until they're happy with their completed maze. Then place the marble at the start of the maze and tip the flat board in the angle that the marble path is constructed to enable the marble to roll towards the finish line.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
This is an opportune activity for the kids to work together and collaborate on their ideas of how to construct the maze, what blocks to use or how complex they want to make it. They can even devise how tall the walls should be in order to prevent the marble from falling out!
Go to Painting with Marbles and Sensory Play with Light for some more creative STEAM activities.
Breakfast can sometimes become a bit boring. Here's one way you can get creative with food and have a fun breakfast treat with the added bonus of being (mostly) nutritious.
What WE USE:
The kids love being in control of what they eat and how they eat it.
Whether they spread the peanut butter onto their choice of food(s) or dip their food into the peanut butter, they decide...and create.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
This opportunity for them to have ownership of their actions can often translate to better co-operation later when it is time for mamas to take the lead. Another side incentive for mamas is that the kids have a bit of fun with creativity in an informal setting, which means a more relaxed start to the day.
*For kids with nut allergies, this breakfast picnic can be used for any other spreads as well. Vegemite is another favourite!
When kids engage in creative pursuits in life (such as art, craft, writing or dancing) they are better at self-expression and have higher emotional intelligence. This is because they have a safe and welcoming (creative) space to explore and understand their emotions. Read more about how Creativity can Empower your Kids here.
Dr Laura Markham, trained clinical psychologist and founder of Aha Parenting advises we teach our kids that:
When my younger son has trouble expressing his emotions, he sometimes act out by yelling and sometimes even hitting the person nearest to him. This is because, his brain has not developed fully to physically control his wild emotions. He doesn't even know his behaviour is inappropriate in a full-scale meltdown. Child development expert, Daniel J. Siegel suggests that “connection should be our first response in virtually any disciplinary situation.”
WHAT I USE:
It's not easy to drop whatever I am doing and become very present and empathetic to my son's needs but it is my most successful way in making him feel safe enough to express his tears and feel the fears that may be driving his anger. Holding him close, I acknowledge how he is feeling. He knows someone understands, which makes him feel just a bit better, so he's more likely to cooperate. He knows he doesn't have to yell or act out to be heard.
Engaging in creative ways together with my kids is also an integral part of my connection with them. In order to help them cope with their emotions whilst limiting their actions, I connect with them via a visualisation technique I created. When my son is willing to listen, I compassionately invite him to visualise an Airport Control Tower trying to help land planes safely, during stormy weather at the airport. The Airport Control Tower is his brain's Emotional Control Tower and the planes are his hands, feet and mouth.
I help him understand that just as we can't control the stormy weather, we don't usually have a choice about what we are feeling. However, the Airport Control Tower can control the planes flying around it and similarly, our brain's Emotional Control Tower can control how we use our limbs and voice. Our brain can choose to land our limbs safely by our sides and control the volume of our voice, during the storm. In time, the stormy weather will pass and so will our stormy feelings. They always do.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
This holistic visualisation usually engages my son's imagination because he loves aircrafts and begins to focus on what types of planes his limbs could be. This dissipates the desperation in his emotional outburst and helps him to feel in 'control' of his emotions, which he often expresses to me when he is ready. That is, until the next time a new challenge filled with new emotions he is unable to control comes his way!
Before that happens, it's time for a big glass of water to boost my own oxygenation and patience power...knowing that one day he will be able to 'control' his emotions because he has a healthy, expressible emotional life (like my older son) makes it worth the effort and wait!
Read Ice Excavation & The Art of Distraction for another technique your kids can use to let go of tension and release energy. How do you help your kids with their emotions? I would love to hear from you in the comments section!
Giving a gift that is wrapped in paper that the kids made themselves has always made them feel great.
There is also an additional sense of pride in creating something that is useful and meaningful.
Over the years, it has become a tradition leading up to Christmas to make our own Christmas wrapping paper but this activity is fun to do for Easter and birthday presents as well.
WHAT WE USE:
Pour a small amount of different coloured paint onto some trays and place the stamps, sponge shapes or cookie cutters on top of the paint. Stamp these shapes all over the white paper and repeat until the paper is covered with cheerful Christmas colours and shapes. After the paper has dried, it is ready for wrapping Christmas gifts with ribbon.
Optional - For some extra bling, squeeze some glitter glue or sprinkle glitter on some clag and onto the wrapping paper.
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
My kids enjoy getting actively messy with the paints and stamps, whilst creating their personalised pieces of wrapping paper. This is also an opportune time for the kids to learn to share the stamps and paint trays amongst themselves. Mamas can enjoy hanging the kids' home-made wrapping paper up to dry and then help the kids wrap the pressies.
Ever used distraction, coercion or tricks to get your toddler to eat a few mouthfuls of nutritious food?
When it comes to successfully spooning these precious morsels into my kids - especially my determined toddler - I often use whatever method it takes to accomplish this mission! Why? Because I worry that a poor appetite might cause a nutritional deficiency or not enough energy for their normal growth.
Despite knowing that these concerns are normal parenting concerns and that it is also normal for toddlers to have small servings at mealtimes, I still worry. On days when the kids haven't eaten much at all, I admit to:
The problem with all of the above methods is that they are punitive ways of eating and in the long term, studies have shown that this can result in kids having negative associations and unhealthy relationships with food. It is important to remember that experts advise that so long as healthy meals and snacks are served, our kids' brains will make sure that they eat enough calories for normal energy and growth.
WHAT WE USE:
Nevertheless, a mama still worries! Thankfully, experience with my first two kids means that I have had ample opportunities to experiment and get creative at mealtimes. I am delighted to report that my toddler has responded effectively to the following creative methods:
Sometimes when my two older kids have difficulty eating their meals (because this never really stops till they are no longer kids but it does get less frequent and easier), I engage them in creative word games such as:
CONNECT & INSPIRE...
Creatively encouraging your kids to eat requires more involvement from you - plus things could get messy - but the pain is worth the gain; a belly full of nourishing food (and sometimes laughter) that is eaten by kids that are present and participatory at mealtime.
Do you have any tried, tested and tasted ways to encourage your kids to eat? I would love to hear from you in the comments section.
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